One of the things I strive to do in my practice when interviewing prospective clients for the first time, meeting with my staff, or talking to my wife is to listen well.  You can ask my wife and find out quickly that I don’t always do so…but I’m trying to get better. 

    What happens when you don’t listen well is you might miss the boat.  When negotiating over something important, you might "think" the opposing party wants one thing, but if you listen and read between the lines you may find out that what you think they want is not correct at all and you will be able to come to an agreement much quicker.  In my job, listening is required so I can try to figure out what my client really wants, and it allows me to pick up on things that will be possible pitfalls down the road.

    The IRS is trained to listen to you…every word you say.  When you are meeting with them, in person or on the phone, they are listening.  They are trained to be quiet because quiet makes people uncomfortable and makes people talk.  If you are engaged in a negotiation with the IRS, I would recommend that you do some listening.  You may find that the revenue officer is trying to give you a hint or a new direction that may be helpful to you.  I find that this happens fairly often.  Sometimes, you have to read between the lines because they don’t come out and just say it, but just listen.  You may be surprised at how much further you get in your everyday negotiations as well as with your dealings with the IRS.